Carbs & Leotards: Pizza Pals

By Jackie Weber

Pizza Pals

So on Sunday I woke up next to my sista-friend Hannah Luckow, and we were both in agreeance that the night before was one for the books. Details withheld, just trust me when I say the best memories are made when you combine a bunch of artists, a team of volleyball players, and a set of freshman twins in one apartment. Regardless of what took place, the events that followed our eyes opening were nothing short of magical. 

I immediately get a text from my neighboring dance colleagues Madison and Taylor to come over and eat pancakes. When life sends you a text message offering Gluten free pancakes and awesome company, you grab your coffee machine, throw on a pair of sweatpants, rush down two flights of stairs, and let yourself in the front door. I’ll tell you what people, Madison McGrew is THE pancake master. Banana and chocolate chips. Nom city, yo. I think one thing that is misunderstood about dancers is the size of our appetites. Never underestimate how much a dancer can eat. Every one of those pancakes disappeared within 10 minutes. “No Ragress.” 

Following the pancakes were plans for the ultimate pizza party, “Fiesta de Pizza.” 

Name one thing better than pizza sampling party? You can’t. Don’t try. We called in Papa John, our peeps from Dominoes, I even drove to Five Star to take advantage of their carry out deal. Veggie pizzas, Hawaiian, Plain cheese for you basic b****es. Also bread sticks and pepperoni rolls. And as if that wasn’t enough, Our girls Colleen Hanlon and Hannah Luckow came through with very large bags of M&Ms. You girls know how soften the hearts of College Court residents. And what pizza party is complete without Publix cupcakes? I’ll tell you what, No one has a sister quite like I do. Audrey Weber is an extremist in all aspects of life, including the purchasing of dessert.

Armed with plates and Garlic Butter sauce (which actually contains less than 2% garlic) we dove in to the mass of awesome and blasted Mama Mia. 5 slices, 3 breadsticks, and about a pound of M&Ms later I was ready to roll out of that apartment. So full, but so so satisfied. Once again, “No Ragress.” That night, I slept like a very fat baby wrapped in it’s favorite blanket. About 6 hours later, my alarm rang, and that’s when reality hit and the sadness and depression started to hit me. It was Monday, and the thought of my body falling all over the treadmill was not appealing to me whatsoever. 

Taylor arrived at my apartment for our usual morning coffee.  I could tell that she was also struggling to find the energy to be a dance major. Her eyes were half open and her voice creaked with an eagerness to become unconscious. “Jackie, I just can’t, I mean I really don’t know if Monday is possible.” I couldn’t have agreed with her more. And although we knew that the day ahead would be treacherous, we forced ourselves out of the door, into my car, and to the gym. We might’ve contemplated napping in the parking lot, but decided that we were far too classy and badass for that to occur. 

You guys I don’t know what happened to me, but I was bossing it up straight “bro” style in that Recreation building. I ran two miles straight, without stopping, all at once, at the same speed, on the same treadmill, with no breaks, and zero falls. How? How was this possible you may ask? I credit the crazy carbs packed in the entire Pizza  I ate the night before. Carb loading y’all, it’s for real, because I swear I thought I was near death before I entered that building. I got off the treadmill and attempted my usual circuit weight routine. And bossed that endeavor as well. I was pumping that shit out like air into a tire. Relentless, my muscles were relentless. If this isn’t a 21st century David and Goliath story then I don’t know what is. Granted, the sweat bib and swamp ass that I displayed to all the patrons and employees in the gym was far larger and damper than usual but I guess that’s the price you pay for eating like a champ. 

All I’m trying to say is that to this day (It’s really only been a week), I have never been so shocked by the ability of a human body to bounce back from a night of straight cholesterol. Not sure I’d do it exactly the same way (I’d probably cut back on the slice count and lower the intake of M&Ms) but hell yeah I’d do it again. I advise anyone willing to attempt this Fiesta to order your pizzas and have them delivered at the exact same time. It’s kind of fun to see competing restaurants deliver to the same door at the same time. “Surprise delivery dudes! You’re not the only bae!” It’s good to keep these places motivated to outdo one another. You’ll Thank me in the long run, Tampa.